when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that i can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s better and involves me

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

theanti90smovement:

*straight white guy voice* how is that offensive?

fake-mermaid:

how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago

ghostgif:

98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party