dingoinnuendo: wwebkinz: dingoinnuendo: makin my way downtown have you accepted jesus christ as your lord and savior walkin faster
amporidan: baconsteak: sarkyfancypants: DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE CALLING YOU BUT THERE’S NO ONE REALLY CALLING YOU AND THEN YOU SIT THERE CONFUSED BECAUSE YOU SWORE YOU COULD HEAR SOMEONE CALLING YOU Wait, maybe it’s our loved ones trying to wake us from the coma. They just can’t scream loud enough wow why the fuck would you say that
princekind: wow it SURE WOULD SUCK if someone started MAKING OUT WITH ME (it’s reverse psychology) (come make out with me)
vaspim1fag9392bitch383slut: gossipgran: im annoying irl im annoying online annoying annoying annoyin g
me halfway through straightening my hair: i don't want to do this anymore
blazeberg: Does anyone else have problems distinguishing dreams from things that actually happened like sometimes I’ll have a memory of something but I literally have no idea if it happened in real life or a dream
vvierd: if you post my ask publicly chances of me talking to you again is 0
American: I want to live in the UK.
Asian: I want to live in the UK.
Indian: I want to live in the UK.
African: I want to live in the UK.
Hispanic: I want to live in the UK.
Canadian: I want to live in the UK.
Filipino: I want to live in the UK.
French: I want to live in the UK.
Irish: feckin' English bastards
Texan: TEXAS IS THE BEST COUNTRY I'M NEVER LEAVING
andrvw: do I listen to Drake? Drake? Ohhhhh, you mean Aubrey hahahaha. yeah we’re on a first name basis, it’s whatever
Anonymous asked: there are two girls in my tutorial who are best friends and they're funny and loud and the tutor pretty much loves them. their names are rachel and shantel so they make me think of you guys every time :)
being sassy aint easy
assstiel: i saw hell with my own eyes
k1mkardashian: katie perry is my favorite r&b singer
cadegrey: mpregbert: あなたは、鶏肉の入ったバケツのように見える “your eyes are so beautiful” i’d still take that as a compliment
barfing: every time i try to take a picture of myself i’m reminded why i never take pictures of myself
friends: i need a new profile picture
me: i need a new face
tltty: you could give me a whole month to do homework and i still wouldn’t start it till the night before it’s due what’s wrong with me why do i do this to myself
hamfarto: in german i put this guy on the corner of every paper i turn in and the teacher hates me
franksroofing: ive never been in love but i imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food
orgasmic-humor: wow breaking up with someone is really hard. good thing i’ll never have to worry about THAT
africans: in my final breath i reached for the keyboard and typed IM DYING in a plea for help but everyone just thought i had just seen something funny
Anonymous asked: you are so fucking rude to your followers that try to be nice to you.
the tomato slicer doesn’t slice tomatoes but it slices my finger no worries gettin real tired of your bullshit subway
mikau: a hip new dance called “sitting”
miyomo: i was looking up ugly halloween sweaters when suddenly
sheeranorgasm: if you sing a girl an ed sheeran song, you’ll get laid
An old Japanese myth says that if you shut the...
january: okay yeah man new year new me fresh starts all around i'm totally not gonna waste this year like i've done every other year of my life so far
february: well okay that went quickly but february will be my month i will get shit done
march: lol wtf wasn't it christmas yesterday
april: awww little baby birdies and shit how cute but i've still done absolutely fuck all
may: mAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU AH AHA HHAHAHHA AHHAHA aw shit i missed april fool's day how the fuck did that happen
june: since when is it summer
july: blogging blogging blogging blogging blogging sleeping eating blogging
august: i need to start getting shit done where has the summer gone omg
september: take me back to the fucking summer
october: HALLOFUCKINWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
november: everything in nature's dying hmm bit of a bummer
december: chrISTMAS FUCK YEAH OMG YAY. OMG IT'S ALMOST NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR, THAT IS THE YEAR I WILL GET SHIT DONE. I CAN FEEL IT.
shavingryansprivates: mary had a little lamb little lamb little lamb mary had a little lamb whose fleece was swag as fuck